Video Transcript: Embracing Women's History and Equity

My name is Maria McKinney. I joined UPST in 2020. I work there as a senior business associate.  

I would like to thank you all for joining us today to learn about embracing Women's History and Equity. The aim of the IWD2023 #embraceequity campaign theme is to get the world talking about why equal opportunities aren't enough. People start from different places, so true inclusion and belonging require equitable action.    

Mother Theresa said, "Nosotros mismos sentimos que lo que estamos hacienda es solo una gota en el oceano. Pero el oceano seria menos debido a esa gota faltante." In English, this translates to, "We, ourselves feel that what we are are doing is just a drop in the ocean, but the ocean would be less because of that missing drop. Every molecule counts. Every drop makes a difference.  

The leadership, strength and courage of women and girls all over the world grows stronger with every moment we spend forcing change, supporting equity and creating a space for women and girls to climb by providing the specific needs to each individual.  A good example of this is the protest movement led by Iranian women, rising up to demand freedom. Women are leading a revolution in Iran, asking when will the western feminists help?  

The International Women's Day celebration at UMPO started three years ago with a small group of women in UITS on March 8, 2019. Megan Momtaheni reached out to her ACIO at the time and asked if she would call on colleagues to get together and spend a few minutes to celebrate International Women's Day and take a group photo striking that year's pose, #BetterForBalance. Kerri Hudzikiewicz found an online event called "Follow the Leader: Lessons from Women CIOs in Higher Education," that they all watched and followed by a discussion. And Presto! It has since grown into a cross-departmental event managed solely by volunteers. Here we are today celebrating #EmbraceEquity.  

Let's be oyster divers. Come along with me on a dive into the past. Let's look at the accomplishments of our own UPST colleague, Eden Medaglia's grandmother Beatrice Gelber, whose research was resurrected in 2021 and her findings validated by researchers from Harvard, MIT, and Rutgers University. She was a pioneer. She got her doctorate degree from University of Chicago, and held a professorship at Indiana University.

During her lifetime and career, her research had been mocked by peers who thought she was a quote, unquote, silly woman for researching paramecium (single-celled organisms) and contested her findings. She stood by her work. She was strong in the face of criticism by her male peers and lack of support from the University of Chicago where she was working at the time.  

In 1960, she took a 100,000 NIH grant awarded to her along with her own money and founded a research institute to continue her work and to provide a space where others could conduct research as well.

In the face of adversity, she persevered, believed in herself and her work and created a supportive place for others to do their research. Let's watch a video on Equity versus Equality. The featured speaker is Cammy Watkins, she, her, hers pronouns, the Executive Director at Inclusive Communities.

[Video displays].

John Dawson: Okay. We got Equity versus Equality.

[Maria plays the video].

Cammy: Before we can talk about equity versus equality, I want to to first define diversity. At Inclusive Communities, we like to say diversity, in its simplest definition, means differences. We all have differences from our glasses to our weight to how much money we have.

That is diversity and no matter how much people say it's hard to find diversity, that's not true. Diversity exists. It's about taking the time to acknowledge its existence and work to ensure action is taken to embrace these differences, not alienate them.

Equality is often equated to fairness and sameness and its based on the misconception that we have the same needs and the same solution will work for everyone. Equity is based in access and opportunity with the understanding that we each start with different advantages and disadvantages and thus have different needs to obtain access and opportunity.

To understand equity, we have to compare it to equality. 

Now I love this Equity versus Equality graphic, as its the best explanation of the difference between the two. On the equality side, you see that we have three individuals, our tall guy, our short girl and our friend in the wheelchair, and you see that they are all trying to watch this baseball game.

But there's this fence. With equality, they have been given a box to use to be able to see the game. But, obviously, that's not working. Our tall friend is now super tall and sees very clearly over the fence. While our short girl can just barely see and she's still kind of on her tiptoes, and struggling to see the game. The person in the wheelchair can't see at all and they can't get on the box.

On the equity side of this picture, you can see that now we have given each individual exactly what they need to be able to see the game. The person in the wheelchair has a ramp so they can clearly get to the top and see the full game. The shorter girl has two boxes, which is what she needed to comfortably be able to see, and the tall person has no boxes at all because they didn't need the extra assistance in the first place.

Equity is a process, which means it is continuous. We can't gain equity by changing just one thing.

For example, the equity side of this photo shows our friend in the wheelchair has gained equity at this fence, but the work is not done. True progressive equity is about how can we ensure that he has equitable opportunities at all of the hypothetical and real fences in his life.

Equity requires power, resources, and social responsibility to work hand-in-hand to change the structures and provide opportunities to those who were institutionally left out, marginalized or oppressed.    

Equity is hard, but it's essential for us to make change in the lives of those who have been historically depicted as less than from individuals with disabilities like physical, developmental, and mental, to people living in poverty without access to food or education, or healthcare.

It's important for us to understand there is a long history of discrimination which has created the present day inequities, which don't allow these individuals the same access to opportunity than those who don't have those differences.

One of the greatest gifts we give to students that we work with is the opportunity to share their story and to find value in their voice. This increases awareness and sense of empowerment.

Everyone has their own stuff. Everyone is going through something that challenges their emotional and physical capacity to be great. There is power in connection. 

So now, here is your challenge - be brave and seek out those opportunities to have authentic conversations with those that are different than you. Find out what makes them unique and what brings them joy then you do the same. Share your story, because you have value as well. Now you have built community. And with community we have power. We is always stronger than me.  

Equity versus equality.  

We have great events planned for you today, Friday, and next Monday. Before we start this morning's session, I would like to thank you all, again, for being part of the solution and to help us be at the leading edge of the equity movement.

Here are the rules of engagement. As this is a remotely held meeting, we would like guests to follow a few basic guidelines to keep the meeting running smoothly. 

We are using the Zoom webinar feature. The attendees are in a listen and view only mode right now. Feel free to put questions in the Q&A. Whatever we cannot answer live, we will respond at a later time. 

We will be recording this session. 

If you would like captions shown on your screen, select view caption settings which is located on the bottom Zoom tool bar.  

Now, I hand it over to my colleague, Zoila Altamirano.      

Zoila: Thank you, Maria for a wonderful and inspiring kick off.

It is my pleasure to be introducing our keynote speaker, Vanessa Farino. Vanessa Farino is a public speaker, 
community leader and business strategist. She is an award winning multi-passionate Latina entrepreneur named by Boston Business Journal's "40 under 40" and El Mundo Boston's "30 under 30." 

She was featured in the documentary, "Still Working 9 to 5," based on the movie, "Working 9 to 5." The film examines the 40-year evolution of gender inequality and discrimination in the workplace since the 1980s. Vanessa grew up around entrepreneurs and started her first company at 15. She then went on to create five more companies while holding a corporate career working directly with C-Suite executives in Boston at start-up companies for over a decade.

Vanessa's purpose is to disrupt the traditional way of thinking, promote the belief that we are all creative, ever-evolving humans. Her business is founded upon a human first approach that has greatly impacted the way her clients operate their businesses.  

She's dedicated to igniting female founders to transform their businesses, to create generational wealth and impact in their communities.

Welcome, Vanessa.      

Vanessa: Thank you so much. Thank you all for being here. If you know and have heard me speak before, you know that I take quite an untraditional approach. I like to call it more of a human approach.

Before we get started and I share more about myself, my journey and we can talk about why it is important to learn about women's history and embracing equity, I would love for our participants, which we have so many amazing humans dialed in here today, to please use the Q&A and tell us exactly where you are dialing in from.

I would also love to learn, to see what other languages we are representing and countries we are representing here today in our webinar.

This is wonderful. We have people from Massachusetts and Florida and Boston and Miami.

If you speak a different language, please drop that as well or if you have a family member who has an immigrant background, we would love to know the languages that are represented here today. We have Portuguese and Hindi. We have people from India and... this is so wonderful to be able to see. Greek.  

North Reading, Massachusetts. I love this. I want us to have a human conversation and I want you to feel like you are involved and a participant. Spanish. Oh I see some lovely, wonderful faces I can recognize. 

Okay. I want us to take a deep breath. Today is such an important day. It's International Women's Day. I want you to think about, imagine a world where there is a gender equal word, a world free of bias, stereotypes and discrimination. Imagine a world where that's diverse, equitable and inclusion. Imagine a world where we have --  where difference is valued and celebrated. 

I want to share a little about my story growing up and why it's important to me to celebrate International Women's Day and honor Women's History Month.

I grew up in a city outside Boston, Massachusetts, called Everett. My family is from Bolivia. We were one of the few first families in the city of Everett that were from a Hispanic background.

From the moment I could ever remember being a little girl, I remember it like I didn't belong. I remember that my skin color was different. I remember that my hair color was different. I remember all the things that I would pick on - I don't belong. That feeling - has any of us ever felt that feeling? Let's be vulnerable in the chat and express if we can relate to any of this as children.    

And that feeling stuck.

Yes, I know that we can totally relate to this. 

That feeling stuck with me for most of my life and I did not even realize the importance of sharing women's history is to truly understand our value, the things that we bring to society, as human beings and why it is important to embrace our equity.

Throughout my life and in my career, I have worked as you know, for some incredible CEOs, but there was a moment in my 20s when I looked back and I realized, "Where are my peers?" I happen to also be the very only Latina and also someone who was at least 20 years of difference between the other people that were in the room. That was really shocking to me. I couldn't put the pieces together. 

The biggest awakening of my life was when I was asked to be featured in a documentary called "Working Still 9 to 5," based on the movie, 9 to 5. It stars Jane Fonda, Dolly Parton and Lily Tomlin just to name a few. The 9 to 5 movie exploded in the cinemas in the 1980s and it gave a humorous approach of what it was like for the inequality for women to be working in the workplace.

The documentary "Still Working 9 to 5" bases 40 plus years later on how it is still not a laughing matter. It explores the comedic tone of the film and how it can resonate with a wide audience at a time when the feminist message was being rejected and feared by a large population.

Today, we look at the film to see of the changes that we still have to do today for women in today's history. I'm going to show you a clip of the trailer before we can have an open conversation a little more about how we are going to learn about women's history.  

[Screen is shared and the video is started. Music plays.]

Lily: I didn't like some of the humor in the 9 to 5 script so I turned it down.      

Dolly: I got some flack working with Jane, being such a radical gal.

Jane: Women work because they have to. They are getting angry and they are beginning to organize all around the country. I support them and I'm going to make a movie.      

Lily: Everybody was very nervous about the movie because it was three female leads.      

Jane: The core message in 9 to 5 was you deserve better. The women said wait a damn minute. I'm not going to take it anymore.

Allison Janney: Don't put up with shit. Demand respect.

Woman: All the things about 9 to 5, the movie, women are still fighting for.  

[ Music playing ]

Jane: It's so important that women realize they are seen. My lord, it's 40 years now and it's still important.    

Lily: We have so much more to do.

[Music plays. Video ends. Screen share is shut off and Vanessa returns to the screen].

Vanessa: I want to hear your thoughts on what came to mind as you were watching that trailer as I share a little more why that impacted my life. Feel free to use the chat as I can see your answers and feel free to ask any questions if you have any thus far.    

The documentary was honestly something that came to me as a working woman but also during one of the businesses that I had to support - administrative professionals. It just so happened that demographic is mostly women. It was an honor to be featured on that because we were able to really see the inequality in the workplace and be able to share that experience but for the better.  

I'm just checking to see if we have any questions.    

Okay, wonderful. So ultimately, I think it's important for us to talk more and share fun facts and we can play a game on the chat. We want to know, "What year was the first woman's history day held?" I'll give you a hint. Was it 1909, 1920 or 1940? When was the first women's history day held? 1909, 1920, I think I said 1940. 

The year that it was first held was 1909.

It is important to understand that the history of women does affect the future of women. I would like to also mention that it was only in 1974 where women could not get credit cards of their own. The importance of understanding the history of women is because we probably know someone who is in their 40s or 50s who has been able to witness the transition of women's rights.

As I mentioned, it was 1974 when women could get credit cards and today is only 2023. Our very first woman of color Vice President, Kamala Harris, was elected in 2020. Therefore we have so much to work on just yet.

I'm checking to see, Zoila, do we have any questions?  

Zoila: Not yet, just some comments.

Vanesa: Amazing. 

Zoila: Still pushing the envelope. Hoping to be heard. That's a comment we got.  

Vanessa: Great, great. All right. We can all truly embrace equity. It's not just something we can say. I want to remind you, it's not just something we can write about. It's something that we need to think about, we need to feel, we need to value, we need to embrace. It's what we believe unconditionally, because equity means creating an inclusive world.

It is important for us women and also men to talk about the history of women and embrace the equality and our different, diverse perspectives, and backgrounds, because that's the way we are able to include people. I absolutely loved the video we showed earlier today because we is always stronger than me.  

With that being said, I think we have a few questions that Zoila has prepared for us to talk a little more about.    

Zoila: Yes, what is one of the biggest challenges you've had to overcome as a Hispanic woman evolving professionally?

Vanessa: One of the biggest challenges, I think, is being able to fit in either a professional woman role and/or being a Hispanic woman. That might seem like it contradicts itself. I think the hardest thing is knowing that I come from a third world country and success is great because I can show and pave the way for my peers that it can be done, honor our ancestors roots and the sacrifices they have made but also at the same time, be proud of my heritage, given we are still a third world country.

Zoila: Excellent. What is a misconception about women achieving success?      

Vanessa: I think a misconception is that we cannot all belong. There's not enough space for all of us and our success. I do believe that we do have this... a quote that many of you might have heard before, "We rise by lifting others."

As we know, fun fact or not so fun fact, women are not even part of the U.S. Constitution. So it's really important to continue to elevate one another. There's enough space for everyone but actually being able to not just talk the talk but walk the walk and be able to provide those spaces and pulling up a seat for another peer of ours.  

Zoila: We've got a question from an anonymous attendee. How to demonstrate equity in the workplace?

Vanessa: Yes. Wonderful. If there is possibly in your people or HR organization, ask them if there are any current contributions happening in the workplace and if there isn't, I'm sure your company would be more than happy to help you start an initiative.  

Zoila: Fantastic. I've got a question. Oh, someone just posted here. I think that the fear that surrounds women succeeding is many men and women do believe there's only so much room and allowing women to succeed will drive men out of the game. That's from Denise Bafti.

Vanessa: Yes, that is incredible. That's a very, very great fact. I don't believe it's true, there is -- it's like if we all stepped outside on the streets, if we all went outside on the streets, there would still be enough space for all of us. It is just being able to identify with our missions and our values as humans and being able to support one another.

Zoila: How did you get involved in the 9 to 5 documentary?

Vanessa: Great question. I was the founder of an organization here in Boston, Massachusetts that was supporting administrative professionals. The organization grew from being rejected over seven months, to just by coffee meet ups, and then finally selling out our very first events to over 55 people. We grew the organization to represent over 500 people, sorry, 500 companies with over 2,000 people just in the greater Boston area.

It turned out that our community work was something that people were talking about in the internet. We were all word of mouth, a very close, tight knit community, and the executive producers had found me online and reached out to me. I thought it was -- I didn't think it was real.

When I finally met them, they were very generous, kind, amazing people. I even pitched them my mentors. I'm you want to speak to these people. They were like, no, we want you to be a part of this, we want you to share the story of what you see is happening in the workplace. No better person than someone like yourself.  

Zoila: That is fantastic. So exciting. What is some advice you can give to aspiring entrepreneurs?

Vanessa: Advice that I would give any human, particularly aspiring entrepreneurs is to find a mentor. We go through our peaks and valleys of life and our day-to-day sometimes cannot be so exciting, but when we are finding someone to be part of our circle, there's nothing better to have someone who believes in you, someone who can guide you in the right direction and ultimately keep your flame ignited to keep pursuing your dreams and and aspirations and ultimately for you to pay it forward to other people.  

Zoila: That's fantastic. We do have a question.

Vanessa: Yes.

Zoila: From Megan Momtaheni. Did you experience the imposter syndrome as you achieved more success?      

Vanessa: Absolutely. I will share in vulnerability that any opportunity that is presented to myself at any given time, there is always a little peak of, I don't belong, I'm not good enough or not valued.

And I think to myself, my ancestors and all of our ancestors have sacrificed so much. We are our ancestors'  wildest dreams. I do this for them. If I can't show up for me, do it for them. It is just something, if you are given an opportunity, take it. There is a reason why people want you in that room. And if there's an opportunity that is not given to you, don't be afraid to ask for it.

One of my favorite quotes as well as Oprah's - "We only get in life what we have the courage to ask for."

And I can share that I just got an incredible partnership for something I'm planning just because I had the courage to ask.  

Zoila: Fantastic. We have a question from an anonymous person. Coming from an immigrant background, mentors is very new to me. What are the things you can ask your mentor about, specifically, if your mentor is a woman like you?      

Vanessa: Absolutely. I think finding a mentor from an immigrant background and nonimmigrant background - so having two different perspectives. Those two people have been in two different rooms and have two different lenses. It's super important.

But also some of the things you can ask your mentor is saying whether you have a plan, and say I envision X, Y and Z, how would you guide me to get to this next level or these are some of the blockers I might have, could you guide me. Don't be afraid to ask your mentors for what it is exactly that you want.

I remember when I received my first mentor at age 18. I didn't even know it until four years later. It was a manager I was working for and I had changed jobs. I had gotten a better opportunity but I'm like something is missing. And I realized my previous manager was also my mentor and that's when I learned to not be afraid to ask. 

And people will tell you, I don't have the time or you can go find somebody else. And definitely don't be afraid to tap into their network as well. And if you are looking...

Zoila: To piggy back on that question, I'm curious to know who some of your mentors are today, right now?

Vanessa: Yes, absolutely. I have mentors that are still in the administration field, some of them are Bonnie Low-Kramen. I'm not sure if some of you might know her. She's definitely one of the people who, very early in my career, when I had major imposter syndrome, she was like, "Vanessa, think of all the people you are going to be helping but as well as also taking charge in your own life."

She has this quote saying, "You are the CEO of your life. You are the CEO of you incorporated. And we should make decisions accordingly, in our lives, professionally and personally."

Zoila: Thank you so much for sharing that. Does anyone else have questions they would like to ask? Oh, we have another anonymous question. How can we calculate the positive impacts of having empowered women in the organization?    

Vanessa: Great question. I think one of the things is thinking about ultimately together in an organization what are the things that are most important tied into the values. I think this question asks if you are -- sorry, I'm just trying to reread the question again. If you -- this is if you are working in corporate, I believe. 

Impact -- ultimately, think about the values, what is the impact you want to create and create a plan. I think one of the best advices I can give someone on how to achieve success on your own terms is define what success means to you. Don't just look left or right and wonder what others are doing. You could get inspiration and find that motivation to ignite you to do what is important for you and your initiative, but I think it's also very
important to define success and say how it is we can get there and who are the people who can help us, not being afraid to ask for help.

[No audio].

Zoila: Thank you, Vanessa. Sorry, I was on mute. We have another question from Débora Ferreira. Do you feel you were able to bring your full self/culture to the workplace? That's a great question.

Vanessa: That is a wonderful question. I have to say probably for the first ten years of my career, I didn't even know what that meant. I do remember there was one time I will share in vulnerability where I reflect back now and I was like, I thought to myself, wow. I was not able to do so.

I remember being a Hispanic woman who, you know, my body is a little bit different. I was told I should wear black to the workplace so that I could blend in. Those are the things where I was like I could not be my full self. I feel I'm someone who is vibrant. I look back and think, wow, that opportunity at that workplace was incredible, but I was not able to show up as my full self. 

So with that being said, today, what can I do to do that? How can I show up in the workplace culture? How can I contribute? How can I volunteer? 

And if there are ever any polls, are there any open-ended questions or open projects in the workplace that I can contribute to, I would love to be a part of that and/or give my feedback and/or experience, because if we don't speak up, things are not going to change. If we don't give our opinion respectfully, things will not change for us.

Zoila: That is amazing. That's unbelievable. We have a question from Megan Momtaheni. What project are you currently working on? I'm currently working on bringing our Power of Women and Business Summit that was held here in Boston this last November to New Jersey. The summit has a quite powerful story in that while we were planning the summit in Boston, we got rejected over 80 times for support with corporate sponsorships.

I decided to be my own sponsor and bet on myself and we sold out the summit two weeks in advance, which I'm very proud of. 

This round, we are bringing it to New Jersey in the New York area. They are eight minutes apart from each other, it is just right over the bridge. We reached out to 200 corporate sponsors. We have not been able to secure any of them. But yet we are taking a bet on ourselves and we are just about less than 20 days from the event and we are 85% sold out.

So if you have a vision, find mentors, seek guidance. Do not give up. Bet on yourself. You'll have bad days. We don't all have good days, but find your true, your north star within you. What is the impact you want to do within your community and ask people for help. That's something that I have learned to do and that is definitely something that has helped me.

While we have gotten rejected over corporate sponsors, think about all the people who said yes - the attendees, our speaker outreach has 590,000 in outreach and also a recent partnership that I recently mentioned about that is really exciting to be able to announce soon.    

Zoila: That's fantastic. I'm so happy for you. We have another question. If you could have dinner with three inspirational women, dead or alive, who would they be and why?      

Vanessa: Oh, wow. I think I would love to have dinner with the key cast members of the film, "Working 9 to 5," Jane Fonda, Dolly, and Dabney Coleman, and Lily Tomlin. I know that's four of them. 

I think that would be wonderful. Those women are women who I respect. They walk the walk. They talk the talk. And through all of their years in their career as celebrities but also advocates for women they're definitely leaving a legacy behind, igniting, inspiring, motivating all different generations. I think that's something that is very powerful.

Zoila: Thank you. We have another question from Denise Bafti. Is the Power of Women in Business project for all women in business or is it for entrepreneurs only? The Power of Women in Business Summit is for entrepreneurs or aspiring business owners. The purpose of the summit is ultimately, during the pandemic, there was nearly 2 million women laid off in the workplace.

If we think about the woman and how we affect economics within the country, it's really important to make sure we are providing support for those who have gone freelance or started their own business and how we can provide support and education and community and referrals to them.  

Zoila: Thank you. We have actually a question from one of our own committee members, Yara Hentz. What advice would you give to young girls in high school or college when heading out to the workforce?

Vanessa: I love this question. I think, growing up, we can all relate - we are told to think outside the box and when you become, you know, an adult and you graduate high school and you act outside the box, sometimes we feel penalized for it. 

My advice to them would be to, whenever you feel like you are not feeling creative, when you stop creating, as children, we are constantly creating, we are dancing, we are singing, we are moving - to not lose the spark of that, because that, I believe, ultimately does support and help you as an adult to inspire others, helps you through the bad days, helps you to find projects of your interest for your professional development and personal development. Do not lose your creative spark and feel that you have to fit in a box as sometimes society does tell us.  

Zoila: Thank you. Another question from one of our committee members, Maria McKinney. Do you have plans to develop or pay it forward in Everett or even in Bolivia?  

Vanessa: Absolutely. In Everett, I was a speaker at the high school in hopes of being able to be asked again. We have been in conversation to see how we can support their business - they have a program there for business.

Particularly in Bolivia, there is an initiative I had started during the pandemic that didn't work so well. In Bolivia, we are a third world country. But we do is, annually, we do support the families, the children who have parents who are incarcerated there and through our families - they have been doing this over a decade. We send funds so those children can have a good holiday season.

Particularly, recently, we are partnering up with the Malala fund to give back part of our annual revenue to be able to ensure that we can support other young girls all over the country to have education.  

Zoila: Fantastic. That's really inspiring. We have an anonymous question. How can we, as women, help our daughters to be fearless and ask those tough questions?    

Vanessa: I think, I'm not a mom yet, but I do... my mom did raise me as a very strong woman. I look back and I remember one of the things she used to tell me was, "You are perfect. You are perfect the way you are. The flaws is what makes your perfection."

I think, as women, I see younger generations where they might not feel like they can live up to people's standards or whatnot. But I think it's two things - seeing who they are as a person and building that self-confidence, that foundation. Because confidence - it's like you wake up one day, and it feels good or does not. 

But If you build a self esteem, that is the foundation within that I know, my mom built within me, but also ask them questions. Have them use their voice. I know sometimes that kids will be kids and, you know, they will ask too many questions or whatnot, but if you are to have them, put them in skills.

For example, public speaking. I wish I did that when I was younger. I had to take those courses to be able to build those skills. If we are able to do that for the young girls and also young boys, I think that's very important. Build those skill sets. Ask them to use their voice. Give them examples on how to use it. Create activities within home. I know not everybody has those opportunities, but I think if you create a creative program, who knows that the kids of the neighborhood would want something like that. These are the skills that are going to benefit them the most for communication, to use their voice or creative projects for ultimately... for them to be the best they can be as they grow older.

I'm sure, through that process, they will also see how it's important to include other people within their community so they can also feel welcome and safe.  

Zoila: Thank you and I love the inclusivity part of it. Oh, we have another question here from Débora Ferreira. Do you think in this day and age women know about their rights against discrimination and sexual harassment?

Vanessa: Absolutely not. I don't think we truly understand the full aspect of the discrimination or sexual harassment because we think it's normal. Our ancestors probably thought it was normal.

We sometimes, I can speak for myself. You know, we come from a background that says don't speak unless you are spoken to. I don't know who else can relate to that, feel free to drop it in the chat. That being said, we have seen a lot of things happen and we don't talk about them so we think they are normal. I recently, interestingly enough, a few months ago, I went through a sexual harassment and discrimination training.  

I don't do quite well on tests because I'm dyslexic. That was probably the first one I went flying colors with. I was really proud of myself but I also looked back and I was like, wait a minute, why did I know all those answers to my core? It was a pretty in-depth test. It's because I had experienced all those things and I knew they were not correct. But as we do learn what is not correct and what is not right, it's also even more important that when we do see this, we say something about it. That doesn't mean we have to, I know sometimes we are like I don't have a filter, I say what's on my mind. If that doesn't resonate with you, find the right time and place. There are right times and places where you can pull someone aside in confidence and say, "I witnessed that. I wanted to offer some support. Are you okay?" and whatnot, just to be able to open up people's eyes because it does happen for women and men.

Speak up. I think that's the most important thing. I can't tell you how many times... I have a biracial marriage. My husband is American. I'm a Hispanic women. I can't tell you how many times he's witnessed things said to me or spoken to me and then they realize we are together and they are like, "Oh, sorry."

We have to treat everybody equally. As humans, we are citizens of this planet. We have to take care of it and take care of each other. That's something I'm very, very particular in, when I do business with people, when I work with mentors, when I have peers and friends. Those are human values I'm not willing to put at risk.

Zoila: Amazing. Amazing. Yeah. We have to support fellow humans and protect them. I agree with that. Thank you for that question. Oh, I have a question from Mike Milligan. Can you talk about a male colleague who exhibited consistent listening qualities and support tools for your success? What was done well and what wasn't? What traits were exhibited? Thank you, Mike.

Vanessa: I think the traits exhibited were - they offered support. There could be a situation, right, when we are working or dealing with people and they say do you need support or do you want feedback? And before they gave feedback, they asked if they could. They asked for permission. I think that was one of the best qualities that I learned from these male colleagues, myself, because sometimes we just need support. Sometimes we just need to be listened to.  

When you are -- when someone asks, "May I provide you with feedback?" that is helpful because you don't take it as criticism in a bad way. If anything, it's constructive criticism. How can I be better? This person is coming from a good place and have my best intentions. And sometimes you will not see eye-to-eye, but there will always be mutual trust and respect with one another.

Zoila: Thank you. We have a question from Sugandha Singh. I hope I pronounced that correctly. How can I become part of a mentorship program?

Vanessa: Absolutely. I think it's very important to understand what type of mentorship you are looking for. If you are looking for a mentorship program within your personal life or in professional life - so it's one of those two categories. From there, identify the qualities or things you are dealing with. Perhaps that might be self-esteem or confidence or that might be a particular skill set that you are looking to master.

Then from there, narrow down who are some of the people who are best at that? Ask them, what organizations are you a part of? Who has been your mentor? 

Also, to remind you, your mentor is not someone you have to necessarily meet in person. I'm not sure if some 
of you are familiar with Gary Vaynerchuk, also known as Gary Vee. He is someone who is my mentor and he doesn't know it. He is a marketing person, a very human approach and through, I think, in the 2015s, 2016s era of my life, he was definitely someone who supported that phase of my life. 

So you can look for mentors that are not necessarily one-on-one support. You can look for mentors through their audio books, their books, their social media, their stories. There's so many different programs that are available at zero cost, and/or you can invest in a program that could be recommended by someone. Happy to help you. Feel free to ping me offline if you need help narrowing that down.

Zoila: Wonderful. We have an anonymous question. International Women's Day is about women and it also includes men. What has been your experience with the males and what they can do to support women?      

Vanessa: Yes. Showing up to conversations like today is very important. Identifying who are people in their lives that matter the most as women and ask those women. We can consider those as mentors.

"What can I do to help and contribute?" Being able to ask the questions and hold space, find opportunities just as we do as women. We come across something and we say, I found you a referral or I found you a connection, introduce people and one another. 

I think as men, ask, "What do you need? How can I support you?" You will have all those answers from people directly on how you can be better and supportive.  

Zoila: Thank you. Do you have a favorite author or what are you currently reading?

Vanessa:  I, unfortunately, am not reading lately. I'm someone who experiences dyslexia. So I usually do audio books. One of my favorite audio books is "Start with Why" by Simon Sinek. It is definitely a book that, while it comes from a marketing lens, it also comes from a human approach from Simon. I probably resonate back to that book weekly on start with why. 

Why are you doing what you are doing?

Whether you are waking up on the good side of the bed or not so good side of the bed, it's why are we doing what we are doing? Not forgetting the importance of diversity and equity.

And this is definitely a topic I probably obsess about often. If I am creating an event. If I am creating an experience. If I am working with clients. If I am at work. If I am hosting a dinner. If I am attending an event. I just attended one in Florida this weekend, and I know it was one of those things, when you go to an event, it's hard to be vulnerable and meet people. 

And I saw some people who were scared to be there alone and asking them, hi, how are you? You know, start with why. My why is to make people feel included, to make people feel like they are seen, they are safe, their words matter, their experiences matter. I take that within me whether I'm attending a new event and I see people who are not comfortable in their skin and making them feel seen. If I'm hosting something or at work or working with people, start with why.

Zoila: I love Simon Sinek. Another anonymous question. What are the most effective ways to counter act the negative stereotypes of feminism, especially in the workplace?  

Vanessa: I'm sorry, Zoila, can you repeat that?

Zoila: Sure. What are the most effective ways to counter act negative stereotypes of feminism, especially in the workplace?  

Vanessa: Mmm. That's a tough one, because I think it happens a lot. I think, like I said, pull people aside, not necessarily in person. I want to believe that everybody comes from a heart center. Deep down inside or it's just heart center. 

Say the situation or I have witnessed this and it made me uncomfortable. I want to believe that you are a really good person and it's important for me to be able to, you know, let you realize that this happened or this is how it made me feel or consider how somebody else might have felt during the scenario

Zoila: Yes, it's hard when you are in the moment. You need to take a moment to sort of breathe and analyze it and approach it in a good way, in a positive way.      

Vanessa: Right. And sometimes, it could be a situation that has happened to us multiple times. If you react at that exact moment, you are going to have, I don't think it will be as productive as a conversation then you can have it when you are not in the heat of the moment. I'm not saying to feel your feelings out.

I think that's important - to not suppress your feelings, but also honor your feelings and also give it some time. I can recently share that, you know, a few months ago, I had a situation where I was with another woman colleague where I did not appreciate something that had happened. I was very upset because I had seen this my whole life. If it were up to me, I would have acted really unprofessional, but that's not what we do, so I actually took a whole week, I took a whole week before I acted.    

Ultimately, it helped me because when I saw it again, I was able to not suppress my feelings, give the feedback and feel good about myself as well and my peers who I was helping.    

Zoila: Thank you for that. We have an anonymous question. What do you think is the biggest issue women in business and technology face today?  

Vanessa: Opportunity. In general, women need more opportunities. I think opportunities will be created through mentorship. We don't ask enough to be mentored so these opportunities are created for us, particularly for women in business and tech. It is a male-dominated culture, for the most part, so when you are coming in, you could be the smartest woman in the room because of your skill set, it could also be a little intimidating for others.

I'm not saying it's an easy road, but I think it's important to talk to your peers and say, "Hey, I might be new here" or "Hey, I know I might be one of the few women here. I want to learn. I want to grow. I want to be your peer and having those conversations." 

There's also lots of great tech non-profits outlet there for community, for women to join that are very supportive. I can't think of it off the top of my mind. WomenHack, I think is one of them here in Massachusetts. Yes.      

Zoila: We have a comment from the audience which I wholeheartedly agree with, which is, yeah, basically, emphasizing what you said, lack of opportunities and that we, women, have to work three times as hard to be acknowledged and seen. And it's unfortunate, but I do believe it is true.

Vanessa: I agree. And to bring this, thank you, Megan, for bringing thing this up. There are situations where I think we can all, at some point or another say we have seen other women work really, really hard and not get the acknowledgement that they need. 

So what is important is that if you find an opportunity or put an opportunity to give somebody else credit even though you might also be on that same team, you might be working three times as hard, I promise you that... 
in hopes that this person who you are paying it forward to will do the same for you. We need to be able to find ourselves acknowledgement for ourselves, we need to do it for others. If you are someone who sees someone doing amazing, be sure to find ways for your company to know the hard work that they are doing because we rise by lifting others. You are helping this person. This person is going to acknowledge that you went out of your way to do that because it's believe it or not, it's not quite common.  

If you do that, it goes a long, long way.  

Zoila: Thank you so much, Vanessa. This has been a very great presentation, a great talk, great discussions. Things to think about. We are nearing the end of the session. I didn't know if you have any final words that you wanted to say before you ended today.  

Vanessa: Yes, absolutely. Thank you.

I encourage you to rally your friends, your family, your colleagues, your community, your mentors, your children, your neighbors to talk about this conversation through the month. Talk about what embracing equality means to people, embracing what equity means, understanding what cultural heritage people represent, such as their languages, what types of food they eat, what are their backgrounds, understanding what are their things that are important to them. What type of support people need. These conversations are not enough. We need to work together, collectively to impact a positive change and we cannot do this unless we are having the conversations. They might seem a little bit uncomfortable at first but they shouldn't be. This should be something we can all embrace equity together and always.

Zoila: Thank you so much, Vanessa. It was a pleasure to have you today. If your questions have not been answered, we do have them and we will get back to you regarding the recording, any questions you may have. Thank you so much for joining us today. It's been a wonderful day. Come back to the 1:30 session. It is going to be an interesting discussion with one of our senior VPs.

Vanessa: Thank you so much.

Zoila: Thank you so much.

Vanessa: Thank you all for being here and talking with us in the chat.